You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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