Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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