I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
