you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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