Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
