you have to choose: penises or morals?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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