it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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