where am i from again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
