I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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