You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
