:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
