im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize