He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
as a side note pls kill me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
