I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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