Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
