That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
