I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
