Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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