I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
