I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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