Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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