I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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