is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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