So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
