Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
