I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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