I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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