A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
