I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
