So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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