I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
