Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Having a random hookup so left but love u
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
