Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
