If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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