Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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