That's intense
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
