I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize