I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
