when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
