Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
