is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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