I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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