True but thats because hes a fetus.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
