i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
