so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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