her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
