dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
worst night to have a conscience
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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