I cut my penus on the lid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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