Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We left the knife in your bed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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