i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
