I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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