he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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