not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
