He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize