i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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