Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
3 2 1 whiskey
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
