the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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