Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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