After last night, I could never be a politician.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
