was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you never un-have a 4some
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
