I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
