Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
