just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
