At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
wow bdsm is so cute
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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