It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
