while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
