you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
